Unfortunately, Christmas Isn't Happy for Everyone
by Shuji Nonohana
Summary: Hayate tries not to embarrass Nagi at a party hosted by the Itoshiki family. Nozomu is in despair yet again. He feels guilty for not getting anything for the class who got him a so much for Christmas. This is the result of when those two problems collide.


Merry Christmas everyone! Actually, Happy New Year. Okay, so I'm a few days late for Christmas, but what do you people want from me!? It took a few days to write, and that took longer than Christmas, okay?

Today I'm actually making a Crossover fic for Christmas. It's a Hayate no Gotoku story crossed with a Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei story. I've been thinking of doing this for a long time. Why? Well, those two are two of my favorite manga of all time, and conveniently, Kenjiro Hata (Hayate no Gotoku) was once Koji Kumeta's (SZS) assistant.

I kept trying to figure out how to weave the two of these stories together without making it too awkward. I think I may have found a way.

The only thing I'm diverging from is the topical stories in Zetsubou Sensei. It's not like Nozomu will be in despair for no reason, it's just that the reason is general. It's a general despair.

Now, for your viewing pleasure, I give you: Unfortunately, the Holidays aren't always Happy.

Unfortunately, the Holidays aren't always Happy

Hayate hadn't a clue what to do. "Christmas is tomorrow!" Its not like he forgot to get gifts, he remembered that. But Hayate, Nagi, and Maria were invited to a party. "It's the first party I've been to in a long while…" Well, the first important party anyways. It wasn't like Nagi had authorized the party. They were going to a party authorized by one of the most influential members of the Diet, Hiroshi Itoshiki. "These people aren't just in charge of the economy like every other wealthy family, they're in charge of choosing the next prime minister…" Needless to say, he didn't want to embarrass his Ojou-sama in front of such important people.

Nagi, on the other hand, wasn't as worried as her butler. Maria, her maid, asked, "You aren't going to run away from the party like you did last year, right?"

"Hey, that's precisely how I met Hayate, isn't it? Besides, I have a great way to get away from everybody without running away…"

Meanwhile, in another prestigious household in Kuraizawa…

"I won't go." Said a man wearing glasses in a kimono.

"You must, Nozomu. It is mandatory for all members of the Itoshiki family to attend our Christmas gathering."

"Enishi isn't going!" Yelled out Nozomu.

"He is no longer a part of this family!" Shouted Hiroshi.

"Anyways, this is all just so you look good in front of the public, right? It's a meaningless party!"

"You will go, or so help me, I'm going to beat you with a ruler!" Hiroshi took out a measuring stick three times the size of a ruler.

"That's a yardstick!"

The next day at the Sanzenin Mansion…

"Okay, so after I pick up the gifts from the store, I go directly to the party and meet up with Maria-san and Ojou-sama at the party…" Explained to him by Maria. "Okay, I'm off!" Hayate sped away on his bicycle.

Maria knocked on Nagi's door. "Nagi, it's 5 pm! If we don't leave soon, we'll be late!"

"Oh? I'm not going." Nagi said lazily.

"What?"

"Yeah. This way, I won't run away from the party." It may seem ridiculous, but it's logical thinking. "Where's Hayate anyway?"

"He's out…. Running errands." 'I don't want her to run away again… but I don't want to complicate things for Hayate-kun…' A bit too late for that, I'm afraid.

In a car driving at 80 km per hour… a young man had been tied up and was held against his will.

"No! I don't wanna go!" Nozomu shouted.

"Oh be quiet." Said his older, nearly identical not twin doctor brother, Mikoto. "You sound like a little kid being taken to the doct…. Um, being taken to school for the first time."

"He also sounds like a four year-old being taken to the doctor." Said Kei, the Older brother.

"I was… trying to avoid saying that…"

"Hey. It's not like I said, 'a four year-old visiting Doctor Death'."

Mikoto turned his head to the window. He smashed his head against the window and the window broke. Mikoto was bleeding. The reason: Itoshiki + Mikoto = Zetsumei, or Death.

Kei and Nozomu looked at each other.

Kei said, "He'll be alright."

"Yeah, He'll be alright."

"Tokita! Could you hurry up, please?"

The butler driving the car said, "Certainly, Kei-sama."

At the party…

"I wonder where Ojou-sama is…" Hayate said as he wandered the guest house filled with rich people. "I guess I should've asked for them to meet me out front…" And as the unfortunate butler wandered through the large building, a depressed teacher was trying to find his way to the exit.

"I've never been here before. Where's the exit?" Nozomu was then stopped by a young boy with blue hair.

"Excuse me sir, but have you seen a young girl with blonde pigtails?" Asked Hayate.

"No I haven't." Answered Nozomu. They started walking away from each other… then Nozomu turned around and said, "Excuse me, young lady?"

"EH?!" An unfortunate mistake. "I'm sorry, but I'm not a girl…" said Hayate, his voice shaking.

"Oh?" On closer inspection, this young girl was wearing a butler uniform. "I'm sorry, sir. Have you seen the exit?"

"Well now that I think about it…" Hayate looked right. Then he looked left. "Where am I?" The guest house was incredibly huge. He had gotten lost looking for Nagi.

"So you don't know either…" Nozomu sighed. "It was a mistake to be born into this family…."

Hayate asked, "So you were born into a rich family, sir?" Hayate was curious.

"Yes…"

"May I ask which family?"

Nozomu looked closely at Hayate. "Why do you want to know?"

"Eh?"

"Are you planning to rob me? As soon as I tell you who I am, you'll probably try to rob me!"

"And what is your basis for that?!"

"Your face. I know I may be rude here, but you look like a thief."

Hayate looked down in despair.

"Ah… I'm sorry for that." Apologized Nozomu.

"No, no… it's alright… I get that a lot…"

Nozomu looked at him. "My name is Nozomu Itoshiki."

"Eh?"

"You wanted to know who I was, so now you do. But I have to tell you…" Nozomu frowned. "Now that you know me, your life shall become miserable."

Hayate smiled a bit. "No it won't. Why would you say something like that?"

"Because. I'm a completely worthless human being."

At first, Hayate thought, 'Why would a member of the Itoshiki family say that?' But those thoughts changed to, 'Even civil servants have problems I guess…'

Hayate tried to cheer him up. "Itoshiki…san, nobody is worthless. Why would you think that you are worthless?"

"I have nothing to contribute to this world. I can't even scrounge something up as an emergency gift for the Holidays!"

Hayate then realized that something was eating at him. "Is there something wrong?"

Nozomu paused. "You see, I was given many a gift from my students at school. I can't give them anything in return…"

Hayate stopped him. "But just because they gave you something doesn't mean that you need to give them something. I mean, that's the courteous thing to do, but not doing it is no reason to-"

"I have every reason to!" Shouted Nozomu. "It's weird. I've never given them anything for Christmas before, but only now do I realize that I feel extremely guilty about it!"

"So you want to get them something?"

"Yes!"

Hayate thought for a minute. "… Well, what are your students like?"

"Every single person in my class is hopeless. And that hopelessness stems from me."

Hayate said, "Wow. Everybody?"

Nozomu sighed. "There's too much I'd have to get."

"Is there any commonplace trait that your entire class has?"

Nozomu looked up and said, "They're all used to my gloomy disposition. Whenever I say something depressing, they all oppose my opinions. Their attitude towards my attempted suicides fluctuates between care and careless. They never give me a moment's rest…"

Hayate thought, 'I've never met such a depressed man. Attempted suicide? More than one? Depressing thoughts?'

Nozomu looked down and said, "How am I to find a gift for an entire class like that?"

Hayate looked at Nozomu. Nozomu looked away from Hayate. Hayate said, "If they're so opposed to these depressing ideas… maybe you could stop for them."

"Huh?"

"You see, you aren't thinking about why they would care that you're attempting suicide. Or why they are so opposed to your depressing opinions."

Hayate grabbed Nozomu by the shoulders. "You need to give them the gift of a positive attitude!" Hayate smiled. "You'd be giving a gift and erasing your guilt!"

Nozomu looked at Hayate apologetically. "Sorry. I haven't thought a single positive thought in my entire life. There is absolutely no way I can start now. Or any time."

Hayate looked down. "Um, sorry…"

"But…" Nozomu lost his apologetic look. "I can give them the next best thing though. Would that be alright?"

Hayate laughed and smiled. "That's fine. Give them the best gift you can."

After a few minutes of talking…

"By the way, Itoshiki-san?"

"Yes, Ayasaki-san?"

"You're a part of the family here, can you get me the guest list?"

"I might be able to, but why?"

"I'm looking for a small girl with blonde pigtails and her maid."

After about an hour of searching for the exit, they were able to get their hands on the guest list.

Nozomu asked, "Now what is this person's name?"

"Sanzenin. Sanzenin Nagi."

"You mean the richest little girl in Japan?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Well it's just that my family's estate has been in danger of being bought out by her family."

"Eh?"

"Our families have come on friendly terms now. Mostly because our family has grown to rival the Sanzenin family for economic control of Japan. It's a friendly rivalry…"

Hayate was dumbfounded. "Wait a minute, doesn't politics take place over the world of economics?"

"There are no broke politicians."

Hayate just realized there was no reason to worry about embarrassing Nagi at this party. It wouldn't have mattered at all.

"And has she arrived?"

"According to this, she called to say she didn't want to come."

Now Hayate realized he never had to come to the party in the first place.

When Hayate returned to the mansion… he had discovered the remains of an enormous party that had just taken place. "Eh?"

"Oh. There you are, Hayate." Said Nagi. "Where have you been?"

Hayate wanted to say, 'I was looking for you at a party you weren't even at,' but instead, he said, "Oh… I was running long and tedious errands…"

"Oh. Well, we just had a party. It was amazing! You should have been here. There were fireworks, and a butler tournament, and an Everyone Wins lottery, and a huuuge cake!"

"Sounds…. Wonderful…" Just great. Hayate had missed the biggest party of the year.

"And Hayate… thank you!"

"Eh?"

Unbeknownst to Hayate, Maria had distributed his gifts earlier. Not that Hayate would ever know. He just couldn't believe he missed the party.

The next day, at a certain school…

"Good morning class. I know that you all expect something in return for the gifts you gave me yesterday…"

The whole class had a look that said, 'Not really…'

"And I expect to return the favor for Christmas. My gift to all of you is…"

The class leaned forward expectantly.

"I will not commit suicide…"

The class smiled for a bit…

"…for one month!"

Ding.

"It's a great gift, not having to worry for a month, not having to put up with my attempted suicide for a month."

'Well, his heart's in the right place, but…' The whole class felt like they just got ripped off.

"In the meantime, I'll tell you about how disappointed I am in myself for not really getting any of you anything!"

In the midst of Nozomu's rants, Abiru whispered, "Putting his promise aside, he hasn't really changed, has he?"

Harumi whispered back, "Well, he can't change, just like that."

Nami also whispered, "Besides, it would take a while to get used to."

Kafuka just smiled and said, "I think he's fine just the way he is!"

By the way, Nozomu never told Hayate why he felt he had to return the favor this year. Before class let out, Nozomu already had more gifts given to him than he could carry. A new cell phone from Meru, a rare doujinshi from Harumi, a book from Jun, fruitcake from Nami… Fruitcake. What an ordinary Christmas thing it is. He had received a gift from everyone but Kafuka.

"Sorry sensei. I forgot to get you anything this year."

"That's alright, I already have too much…"

"All I can offer you…" Kafuka walked up to him, and hugged him. "Is my love."

Nozomu had felt guilty ever since. He couldn't return anything to her. He couldn't give anything to his class. Since he couldn't tell her anything, and he didn't have the time to get his class anything, a month without suicide… was the next best thing.

'What do I do? She expects an answer, I know it! What do I say? I don't know! What CAN I say? Gah, this dilemma has left me in despair! The pressure of expectations has left me in despair!'

The Holidays weren't fun for Nozomu. The Holidays just flew by Hayate. Christmas isn't happy for everyone. Especially not for those two.

I'm afraid I may have made this story too awkward. Did I? If I did, please tell me. If I didn't, please tell me.

It's mere hours before New Year's, so I'd like to say: Happy New Year! But since this is before the New Year, there isn't much meaning to it…

I have a special New Year's resolution. I will finish my short, unfinished fanfics that have had many fans waiting… if they still care.

So what were the gifts received by Hayate's friends? What, I was supposed to come up with that? C'mon, isn't it the thought that counts? Sigh, alright…

Nagi got something new to hold up her hair, bands made of silk. Maria received a small vibrating massage thingy (for stiff shoulders), While Hinagiku got a small stuffed animal. Nishizawa got a stuffed animal that was different from Hinagiku's, but was part of the same set (sort of a friendship symbol?). The Movie Study Club got some hot and hilarious footage of Hayate's misadventures, and even Katsura-sensei got something. She got the cheapest affordable booze possible (like I said, it's the thought that counts!). Wataru got an uncut Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood DVDs. Saki got a new duster (for anything she'd like to dust before breaking). For both Sonia and Himuro, 50 yen each (they were happy to receive, regardless). For Isumi, he gave her a GPS (predictable).

That's all I can think of for now. This fanfic is my Christmas Present to all of you (and I'm sorry if it isn't a good present).

Have a Happy New Year!


End file.
